Hello there

I'm the DIY superhero

Salaam
Well its been many moons, (and a few comets), since iv sat here and done this, I guess my laziness combined with a father who takes to gardening as a child to candyfloss didn't help at all. Whenever I wasn't lying on the floor scientifically examining the cracks in the ceiling, I was either mowing the lawn, re-mowing the lawn, mowing my neighbours lawn or tiling!!! Sadly over the holiday my father got the tiling bug, symptoms being constant urges to lay floor tiles wherever possible until the whole house is covered in little squares (and the side effects being a son with severe back pain and constant neck cramps). I guess my erratic changing lifestyle balanced out. I didn't gain or loose any weight even through periods of extended Afghan child labour or mind numbing laziness.

Other achievements this holiday include the cleaning of our garage. A garage seems an incredible piece of construction engineering, able to hold an amount of junk which when removed, seems to be at least 10 times greater in volume than the garage itself, and you always find a pair of 25 year old chapals right at the back in the darkest corner.
It seems possessions are the hardest thing to get rid of, even when they seem to be totally useless and caked in a good inch of dust. "Nope I think we'll keep that" was one probably the most repeated phrases I heard whilst garage cleaning, along with "You know this would look good on the mantle piece" and the occasional "Zaman put that down it's a grenade used to fight the Russians back in Afghanistan".

So on we plodded through all the junk and rubbish, every small piece of wood or masonry was kept, my father being one who keeps anything he thinks he can possibly put to use in the future one of his far out DIY constructions. He could probably build an Olympic sized swimming pool from a pile of bricks and a few nails. But he'd wait for it to rain to fill it up.

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One of my friends wasn't feeling too good the other day. I think there's a possibility that me shoving him down a staircase and kicking him head first into a bucket of wet cement could have been partly to blame.
Glad I woke up from that dream then.

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Alhmadulillah I passed my first year of pharmacy :-), so all is set for me inshaAllah to try better in the second year and make is as a pharmacist. May God help the world.

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-Cartoon of the week:




Wassalam
Over n out
Zaman K Durani

Eid Mubarak waking up on eid Morning

Waking up on an Eid morning has its own little buzz. Unlike normal mornings, an Eid morning is one filled with love, happiness, and a mad rush to get into the bathroom before your dad. You wake up and 'know' its Eid morning. From the first breath of consciousness you can feel it. You can smell it in the air. You can taste it in your pillow. (as well as all that sweat and gob).




Today may have been Eid for thousands of Muslims across the world, (except Pakistan, where they will probably be celebrating it sometime in the next few weeks or so), but to me it was more than that. It was also my birthday (well my lunar one anyway). Yes, its true, 19 years ago to this day, on Eid day of 1985, my mother got the best Eid present of them all: me!!!!!!! Imagine the happiness of having a child on Eid day. And what a child!!! (lol). It was told to me that when I was born, I came out moon-walking. (It was Jacko who copied me incidentally). So there u have it: I was an Eid baby!!! (and I probably still am, duh).

Today in the mosque, there were many ppl, short, tall, and skinny too. White, black, pink and blue. But they all had one thing in common. They were all wearing a face that said "Eid Mubarak, bro. Now I don't know u and u don't know me, but you are going to come up here, shake my hand and give me a big hug" . And that's what it is all about. Not just meeting ppl that you already know, but meeting ppl that you would have otherwise never met before, ppl who may be BETTER than the ppl u already know.

So Eid Mubarak to everyone. And a big collective hug from me....


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I've got some catching up to do. Here's what's been happening in my world in the past few weeks (I have been keeping a small diary)...random ramblings...

November :-

...As I wake up, I slowly regain consciousness. Taking care to rearrange myself from a tumbled mess without permanently damaging myself, I climb to my window and take in the view. A yellow orange haze cloaks the ground, as autumn leaves have now been shed. My eyes become cloudy and I strain to see past the misting window as my bad breath condenses a film of water upon a frosty cold surface. Initial checks seem to confirm that my ears haven't fallen off...

...Bonfire night. The one night when Afghans around the country feel right at home. It's the night when Afghani babies go to sleep effortlessly, the screaming fireworks sounding like a regular evening in Afghanistan. An Afghan family down our road seem to have got the wrong idea as they are firing rounds of bullets and grenades into the air hoping to quench the invading forces. A tear comes to the eye...


...I haven't seen my budgies for about 2 weeks or so. The reason? Well we ate them. Lol no im only kidding. During the cold winter months they get transferred to a smaller cage and then get stuck in the garage where there is no fear of them dying of the cold. It also allows a small change in their lives. Now they can get bored out of their minds in a totally different place...

...In uni we have been doing some interesting practicals. Fascinating, actually. We have been pouring and weighing water in beakers. And then from these readings we calculate the density of the water, the temperature of the surroundings, the mass of the beakers and the average time it will take before we want to slit our wrists, and throw ourselves out the window due to intense boredom (usually around 10 seconds). Apart of that, it's a blast!



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Eid Day Cartoon:




Wassalam

Over n' out,
Mawz Rajul

Im tired

Salam

Im tired. (well, duh). Im wheezing (ive got asthma). My feet hurt (ive been running). My lecture has started (i was late). Im hungry (I ate weetabix 4 breakfast. It might have done me better to eat the cardboard box). Im sitting (in da computer room). Im smiling (bcz I love u ppl). Im tired (bcz of all this typing)...and I need a break!!!!!!!!

What a wonderful week. (lol theres this guy on my msn who just signed in as "Sex Drugs and Sausage rolls" lol). Uni is now well underway. Its amusing, the different things that the lecturers come out with when faced with the inevitable mobile phone ring. My favorite was:

"I would have confiscated that mobile, but I like your ring tone"

Err, yeah right! Don't give me that crap, mate. It's such a blatant lie, showing the lecturers lack of power to confiscate. Another lecturer totally shocked all us 200 students in the hall. He went "Ive learnt one thing as a uni teacher. At any one time, 80% of the students are thinking of sex." He then went one further, prompting gasps from some of the girls, "the other 20% are doing it". OMG we seriously could not believe he came out with that!!!! Todays maths class was so boring that if it had taken place during world war 2, Hitler wuld have gone to sleep. The teacher was like a droning moaning tape recorder. And the canteen food was as appetizing as a cockroach in a bikini.

But Alhmadulillah that I still have the strength to wake up in the morning to witness all these travesties. And wonderful gems like this:-




lol. The only thing that saves this from being racist is the fact that a black man is wearing the top. Absolutely brilliant!!

Cartoon of the week:



lol i must have been Garfield in a past life....
Wassalam, Mawz Rajul
Over 'n out..

A silent night sky prevails

Salam

A silent night sky prevails, sweeping across the land enveloping it in a cool ghostly chill. Foxes silently sweep across the running meadows, as midnight butterflies flutter around aimlessly. A stallion gallops across darkened fields, its main flowing rapidly like black flames in the thick of a fire as the brilliant moon light sparkles from its silky jet black coat. I lie in my bed, in a tumbled mess, my face embedded in my pillow, drool seeping out the side of my mouth, my hair as wild as an afro, and I groan as my alarm clock goes off. What wonderful continuity with nature.



So there I was sitting on the downstairs toilet, getting down to business, door wide open as ppl walked past getting along with homely duties. I guess its a good time to tell you that I was actually sitting there painting the walls of the small room. I know I said that I would tie my next door neighbors cat to a post if I saw another paint brush, but I couldnt bring myself to do it. So instead I threw his dog into a river.

Its a sad fact, but DIY work never ends. Under any circumstances. After youve spent years finishing everything off, the house has already started to fall apart once again, and the DIY circle of life starts again.

You start with rebuilding the veranda. By this time the gutters are leaking. After patching them up the veranda is broken again. You then rebuild it with wood from the broken porch. You refurbish the porch and realize that the wallpaper is peeling. After re wallpapering the house, the gutters are leaking again, the porch has collapsed, the veranda is a smashed up wreck. You now have a wife and a child, who has just started uni. You then decide to work that child to death repainting the house, laying carpets and helping some mad Chinese builders who cant speak a word of English to build an extension. Oh and if u havent tagged on by now, that child was me.


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On MSN...

Its freezin: Miracles eh?
Zaman, the miracle and the sleeper: u bet :D
Its freezing: So, can u make my m8 smarter?
Zaman, the miracle and the sleeper: yeah...tell him that 1+1=2

Wassalam, Over 'n out...